It's TIME to CHOOSE YOU
It’s TIME to CHOOSE YOU
It’s time. And I know you know it’s time.
It’s time to choose.
It’s time to choose… YOU.
There comes a time for all of us when staying where we are is no longer an option, and if you're reading this (especially if you’ve read my previous post) NOW is your time.
There comes a time when we question all the lessons - overt & subliminal; conscious but mostly subconscious - we’ve been taught about how we “should” be, move through our lives, behave, and how they have (and continue) to impact our lives. Every. Single. Day.
A slow dawning… Or perhaps a single “WTF” moment, but there comes a time when we realise it's PAST time. And we are ready to shake off, shed, burn down and rewrite the stories. To choose the next chapter. For ourselves.
By this time in your life, you know yourself better than anyone else. You know what you like, what's important to you, and what you want. You know what you dream of, hope for, trust in, believe. You know the kind of person you most want to be. You know who & what you want to surround yourself with. You know where you’re headed, even if you’re not quite sure just how you’ll get there. You know. And if you don’t know consciously, clearly… you know intuitively. Even if you think you don’t know. You will know. And if you feel you don’t know, this moment of realisation affords you the opportunity to reclaim that for yourself. To choose.
When you choose yourself, there’s reclamation. Restoration. Celebration. And there will also be loss.
When you choose yourself yes, some things, some relationships, will be released or broken. Others will feel triggered and challenged. They will respond, react, push back, question. Relationships will change. You discover who matters most, who means the most to you and that not everyone is worthy of being a part of your inner circle. Your people will find you & celebrate your choosing of yourself. Your people will stay. And if they don’t stay, they’re not your people anymore. Maybe never were.
When you choose you, some things will be burned down, and that’s OK.
In fact, it’s welcome.
Beautifully welcome.
It opens space for more of what you WANT to be welcomed in.
When you choose yourself, you become your own biggest fan. You celebrate your wins and your achievements no matter how big or small. In fact, you celebrate your choosing YOU every, single day. In every moment.
Choosing you is worthy of celebration.
When you choose yourself, you acknowledge your mistakes, missteps & mess-ups, accepting them as just one part of your life. You know your shadows don’t define you, but are simply a part of your whole. You know that not everyone will like you or agree with you, or accept your decisions and that too, is OK. In fact, it’s more than OK. By choosing you, you choose to find peace, validation, love and acceptance internally. Within yourself.
When you choose yourself you not only get to drive the bus, you’re also the chief navigator. You're in total control. Of your life.
Your decisions. Your choices. Your feelings. Your responses. Your happiness.
Your joy. Your fulfillment.
They’re all yours.
When you choose yourself you’ve got your own back. And you welcome others, you invite in, you call in & connect with others who also have your back. You welcome in those who are truly worthy to be in your inner sanctum, while at the same time honour your independence & freedom, knowing you can depend on yourself for everything & still accept & welcome love, care, support & help.
Choosing yourself, choosing freedom, sovereignty & independence, is not the fierce independence borne of fear; fear of being let down, rejected or asking for something that’s not forthcoming. It’s not the false independence story of “I can’t trust anyone, so I am perfectly happy flying solo”, but an independence fuelled by a deep inner self trust. When you choose yourself you choose to trust. Know. Like. Trust. Yourself. It’s an acknowledgement of your inner confidence.
Choosing yourself means knowing you might (actually, you more than likely WILL) fall, but you'll pick yourself up again. You’ll accept & honour that mistakes & side steps are just one part of your story. You have the resources, both internal and external, to recover & rebound. Choosing yourself means you choose who to allow in, who to call closer, who to bond & connect with AND you’re also absolutely, beautifully OK flying solo.
Choosing yourself means knowing you'll never give up on yourself. You acknowledge at the deepest, most fundamental level, you are worthy - of anything you choose, anything you desire - and so you have no need to prove or earn or grow your self worth. You were born worthy. Choosing yourself means you own your innate self worth. And you will never minimise, hide or give that away.
Choosing yourself means standing in your power. Walking away from things that don’t want you or allow you to fully show up as the whole lotta woman you are, or that ask you to hold back. Choosing you means walking away, saying no, releasing & letting go even - especially - if saying no hurts.
Choosing yourself means you know that staying in a space, a room, a job, a relationship that asks you to minimise yourself, abandon yourself is far worse than the pain of walking away, the grief or sadness of loss.
Choosing yourself means absolutely, 100% showing up as your f-bomb best, wildest, brightest, highest self. Shining your brightest, every day, everywhere. And not allowing or accepting anything that dims your light, anywhere close to you.
Choosing yourself means holding healthy boundaries around your body, your energy, your time, your money, your resources. Your heart. Your soul. Choosing yourself means saying hell yes or hell no. If it’s not a whole lotta HELL YES, it’s a no. No thanks. Not now. No. That’s not for me. And when it IS a wholehearted yes, you know you’re choosing all in.
Choosing yourself means you treat yourself as sacred. You honour yourself. You are your own No1 and you treat yourself as your first priority. Guilt free. You nurture, protect and make space for yourself. Choosing yourself means releasing yourself from the need to please others. You know that pleasing yourself, holding to your truth, to what’s right for you is the only authentic way forward. Choosing yourself means you own your pleasure, you honour your desires, you refuse to minimise, push down or postpone any of it.
Choosing yourself means you hold to and speak your truth, without ruminating, procrastinating, doubting or second guessing, in spite of fear. You speak your truth without hooking into what others think, feel or believe about it. You speak your truth from a place of deep self-trust and knowing. Anchored in your power, you know your value, lean into unshakeable self-trust. And speak your truth.
Choosing yourself also means you know you don’t have to or you no longer choose to speak in spaces that don’t see you fully. In all your wisdom, power and sovereignty. As the whole lotta woman that you are. Choosing yourself can mean choosing silence over speaking. Walking away. Honouring your voice by sharing it only with those who also honour it.
And let’s be real. Let’s be open & honest. Often, choosing yourself won’t be easy or feel comfortable. It’s a process & a learning. Or more correctly, a huge unlearning. Because of all those teachings, all those stories we’re fed as girls and young women, even the stories we’re told about how midlife or older women should look, be, behave…
Sometimes choosing yourself feels really hard, really vulnerable & really, really uncomfortable. Choosing yourself is a revolutionary moment. An act of rebellion. A pushing back against all those things we’re told to do, not do, be, have. All the things we “should” believe.
Choosing you is going to break some things down. And that’s OK. It’s breaking down what doesn’t work for us as women anymore. It’s burning down the already broken.
Choosing you is breaking down & burning what doesn’t work for, serve or uplift YOU.
And once you choose yourself, there’s no going back. Because choosing yourself means LOVING YOURSELF like your life, your future, your happiness depend on it.
Because it does. It really, really, really does.
And at this point, this time in my life, I’m done. I’m done with the stories and the shoulds. I’m well done with choosing because someone else has written the script. I’m done with settling for what others think is good, right, or for me. I’m done with being told what’s best for me.
I'm ready to choose.
I choose me.
What about you?
Are you ready to consciously choose how this next season of your life will look & feel.
To intentionally & unapologetically...
CHOOSE YOU?
I know that CHOOSING YOU can bring up all the things. It can be scary & feel too big to tackle alone. So I’ve created this FREE GUIDEBOOK to help you take the first steps.
To intentionally & unapologetically CHOOSE YOU.
This free guidebook steps you through one of the exact processes I use with my 1:1 clients to reclaim & liberate themselves. It's an exploration of who you are, what you believe, wish & hope for.
It will support you to identify what stories you're telling yourself, how to start healing & rewrite them.
And, without blowing everything up, or burning everything down, to intentionally & unapologetically CHOOSE YOU
For you if you are…
in a relationship that doesn't feel fabulous & if that's not you (yay!!!) maybe it's a girlfriend you know.
feeling unsettled or uncertain in your relationship or marriage, asking all the questions without finding the answers.
navigating separation or divorce or working out how best to fly solo afterwards.
wondering whether next Valentine's Day you'll find yourself in this same place - still single or still asking yourself the same questions about your relationship.
And, if it’s not for you, is there someone else in your life you can share this with?
Here’s to each one of us choosing freely.
Sallyanne x