CO-PARENTING WITH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE EX
10 TIPS TO HELP SAVE YOUR SANITY
‘CO’ means ‘joint, mutual, common, together’ but is ‘CO’ possible when your ex is passive aggressive?
Passive aggressive behaviour makes the co-parenting relationship incredibly difficult and, while one of the most effective means of dealing with passive-aggressive behaviour is to simply ignore and pretend you don’t notice, this just isn’t possible when you are co-parents and there are children affected so here are some strategies to help save your sanity.
RECOGNISE THE SIGNS - learn the behaviours your ex partner engages in and how you have reacted in the past.
ACCEPT WHAT IS YOURS - you can’t change the behaviour of your co-parent / ex-partner. You can only manage your response.
REMAIN UNEMOTIONAL - if your ex-partner / co-parent behaves in a passive aggressive manner, remain calm, refuse to bite back or engage.
CALL IT OUT - name the behaviour for what it is. Hostility. Address the issue directly by saying “we have a problem.”
ONE THING AT A TIME - stick to one issue or request at a time. Refuse to move on until the first issue is resolved.
PUT IT IN WRITING - keep your co-parent informed (read: accountable) about the children in writing to minimise any “confusion” or '“forgetting”.
CONTAIN COMMUNICATION - keep communication businesslike and unemotional, solution focussed and assertive. Restrict it to issues directly relating to the children / parenting.
SET ROCK SOLID BOUNDARIES - clearly and assertively outline your boundaries and the consequences of them being crossed.
HOLD THE HIGH GROUND - don’t talk badly of your ex-partner / co-parent. Ever. Your kids need at least ONE parent who demonstrates how decent, respectful, co-operative relationships look and feel.
OPT OUT - if you find you simply cannot collaborate to build a functional co-parenting relationship, opt out and adopt a parallel parenting model instead.
Read more in the FULL ARTICLE originally published on Beanstalk Mums
