SIMPLE WAYS TO RESET AFTER DIVORCE
The beginning of a new year is often a time we look back, reflect on where we’ve been and what we’ve done. It also brings the chance to refresh and reset - to get clear about where we want to head.
Separation or divorce brings with it huge changes in so many areas of your life. With all the turmoil of such a massive life change, why not make some active choices about how you want your new year to look?
Here are six simple, but powerful ways you can choose to refresh and reset for a New Year filled with whatever you most wish for:
1. FORGIVE.
Forgive yourself. Maybe you would do things differently if you had your time over, but you don’t. Let go. Forgive yourself.
Forgive your ex. It’s hard, but possible. Remember, it wasn’t always bad. You loved each other once. Sure there are reasons you’re not together anymore and there are also a whole lot of reasons why you were. Holding on to anger and bitterness only really hurts you. Forgive and you can begin the journey forward.
2. CHOOSE KIND
When faced with a decision, choose the kindest option. Be kind to yourself first. Then kind to others, including your ex-partner (yep, you read right. See also No.1 Forgive). If you have kids, you and your ex are bound together. For life. Teach your kids kindness and grace by your choices & behaviour. Revenge may seem a sweet option, but it’s toxic and feeds on itself. Choose the kindest path.
3. DO DIFFERENT
Try something new, or something you’ve always wanted to try. Are your friends all coupled up and set in their social ways? Join a new group or club where you might meet others who are exploring new and different activities or places. Stretch yourself to step outside of your old patterns and comfort zone. Solo life gives you the chance to choose exactly what YOU want. Seeking out new experiences connects you with new people.
4. BUDGET BRAVELY
Get your finances sorted. Budget bravely. Get clear on exactly what your income is and know what you’re spending. Be brave enough to call yourself out on overspending and rein it in. Start to save, even if it’s just a small amount each week. Park it somewhere you can’t touch it and watch it grow. Invest. Educate and empower yourself financially so you can work towards independence & freedom - whatever that looks like for you.
5. SUPER CHARGE YOUR SELF CARE
If you’ve been a little indulgent over the holiday period, now is the time to get your self-care back on track. Self-care is not a selfish or self-centred. It’s a necessity. Especially if you’re solo or co-parenting. Work out your own version of self-care and stick with it. Schedule it as a priority, not the last thing on your list.
6. STICK WITH SOLO
Don’t get hooked into thinking you need to be dating or finding a new partner before you’ve healed. And don’t let your well-meaning friends or family hook you up with anyone before you’re ready. Heal your heart. Do the work you need to do – do it solo, or with a coach or counsellor if you need, but do it. Learn to love yourself, solo. Find happiness in your own company. Be clear about who YOU are, what you need and be able to fulfill that for yourself.
Whatever you choose, go gently. Happy New Year. May it bring you what you most need and hope for.
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