Fall In Love With Valentine's Day After Your Divorce

11 Feb

I have to confess… I hate Valentine’s Day. And not just since my divorce. I’ve always disliked it and the commercialisation of love; the pressure to spend money and make grand gestures of love on a particular day just doesn’t feel right to me. But… I know for many people, it’s an important day and after separation or divorce, it can be a very lonely and painful day. A reminder of all that you have lost.

And, if Valentine’s Day IS important to you, here are some ways you can celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single person.

There are PLENTY of people to share the love with on Valentine’s Day other than a significant other / partner / spouse / girlfriend or boyfriend. Think of all the people in your life, that you deeply love and care about. Or… another person in your sphere who may also be feeling lonely or isolated and dread this day of celebration.

Friends. Family members. A neighbour. The elderly couple who live around the corner. A single mum / dad you know or a single younger person. A colleague at work. Someone you come across in your weekly routine – the barista at your favourite café, the crossing supervisor at your kids’ school. Kindness and thoughtfulness go a long way to not only making someone else’s day special, but also offsetting some of the loneliness you may be feeling. Fill up your world with kindness and love.

Celebrate love and everyone you care about / who cares about you with your kids. Write a list of all the people you love and get them to contribute. Talk about ways you can show your loved ones how special they are to you.

Rather than thinking “romantic love”… expand your definition and think of people you appreciate and find a way to express your gratitude for them.

You could:

· Make them a cake, muffins or a meal and deliver it

· Pick some flowers from your garden and give them to a friend

· Deliver or post a homemade card

· Write a letter telling them what it is you love about them and much you respect and appreciate them

· Surprise them with a personally delivered coffee / tea / hot chocolate

· Invite them to breakfast / lunch / dinner at your place

Probably the most important person to love, honour and celebrate on Valentine’s Day is YOURSELF. Do something special for yourself. Write yourself a letter, filled with all the things you love about yourself. Write down all the “wins” big and small, you’ve had over the past year. Buy yourself a big bunch of flowers, dinner out or a special something you’ve been wanting. Or simply sit quietly with yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come, what’s changed and what you’ve achieved since you first separated.

Valentine’s Day need not be lonely nor steeped in consumerism. Often, the most wonderful gift you can give someone is your time. The very best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is also the simplest and the cheapest. Spend time with the people who are important to you. Tell them why you love them. Give them the gift of YOU.

Happy Valentine’s Day 💚💚💚