Sitting in indecision is hard.

It’s especially hard when there is nothing BAD or dramatically wrong with your marriage, your relationship, or your partner.

When you're thinking about leaving Mr or Mrs Nice Person. Divorcing Mr Nice Guy. Or Ms Perfect Partner.

Someone who is at heart, a decent human - kind, respectful, courteous. But, there’s a niggling feeling that something is missing, that there is more possible. And you feel more like housemates or friends rather than intimate partners or lovers.

This isn’t the same as feeling bored in a calm, emotionally safe, regulated relationship because you’re used to volatility and drama. This is more about feeling like you’ve settled. You chose someone dependable, maybe because it felt like the safe or "right" option at the time. Mr Nice who has perhaps never really rocked your world, but is also hard to leave.

For many women, especially those who want children, societal, cultural, and family pressures—along with the biological clock—push us to find a partner and start a family by a certain age. So, we perhaps choose a safe, dependable partner, rather than someone who truly meets us on every level, grows with us, and expands our lives. And maybe that resonates with your experience.

But here’s the thing—I want to invite you to dare to give yourself permission to want more.

DARE TO GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO WANT MORE

I want you to know It’s 100% okay to want more from your relationship if what you’re currently getting doesn’t feel enough for you. It’s perfectly normal to feel like something is missing when you’re not being fulfilled mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically.

Because there IS something missing.

In my work as a coach, I’ve worked with countless clients struggling with this exact feeling—struggling to find space for themselves in marriages where everything seems fine on the surface, but deep down, they know there’s more for them.

Clients who have struggled with the decision to stay or leave someone who externally and on paper is super nice and ticks all the boxes, and they felt deeply guilty even ashamed or apologetic for wanting more.

But I’m here to tell you: you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting to leave a relationship that no longer fulfills you, meets your needs, holds space for al of you —or maybe never really did.

Your don’t have to feel guilty…

To live life fully, you need to honor your own desires and needs, even if that goes against what others may expect or want for or from you.

A rich, evolved, fully lived life requires that we are deeply honest - with ourselves first. And then courageously living that truth by telling the people we care about - EVEN IF it’s hurtful for them to hear.

Making the decision to leave a marriage is never easy, and is especially challenging when your partner is "nice" and on-paper ticks all the boxes ☑️

Just because your partner is a good person doesn’t mean you should stay somewhere that holds you back from claiming the life and love you truly desire.

You deserve to be happy, fulfilled, deeply seen. Heard, held, expanded, met, challenged.

You deserve a relationship that holds space for ALL of you, that lights you up, not one that’s simply not bad.

Yes, there will be fear. Yes, there are unknowns. Yes, there will be change.

And it’s important to remember leaving a marriage doesn’t mean you’ve failed, given up, or broken a promise.

Divorce can mean a whole lot of things, but at its most basic, in this circumstance, it simply means that you're bravely making a choice to be open to a new reality, new possibilities. To prioritise your happiness and well-being, your dreams. YOUR FUTURE.

It’s a declaration that you are the centre of your life, the main character in your story.

And that you absolutely deserve to be.

To declare what you want, claim what you desire, and create your future.

And even though it will be hard, and heartbreaking, and sad, you will CHOOSE YOU and choose to create a deeply meaningful life aligned with your deepest desires, dreams and values.

And so… if you’re wondering whether to stay or leave Mr Nice Guy or Ms Nice Gal… here’s what I would say to you…

Choose YOU. Choose for future you. Choose to leave.

CHOOSE YOU.
CHOOSE FOR FUTURE YOU.
CHOOSE YOU & LEAVE.

Give yourself permission to deserve more.

To acknowledge you are worthy of more.That it’s okay to leave—even if…

Even if you still care about them, maybe even love them.
Even if they’re kind and thoughtful and haven’t done anything terribly wrong.
Even if they’re your oldest friend and it’s hard to imagine life without them.
Even if he cherishes you, and your leaving will break his heart.
Even if friends or family will be shocked, disappointed, or upset.
Even if you promised you’d stay.
Even if you’re afraid of being on your own or that no one else will love you.
Even if you know exactly why you can’t stay, you can’t articulate it, don’t have a clear reason or can’t explain it fully.

Go, simply because you want to.

Because wanting to leave is enough.

WANTING TO LEAVE IS ENOUGH.

Let that sink in: wanting to leave is enough.

Write it down. Keep it close. Let it remind you when the tears come, when it’s hard and you’re lonely.

Read it over and over again, every time you doubt or you're afraid or think you’ve made a mistake. Read it. And let it become your truth.

Wanting to leave is enough. There doesn’t have to be more than that. And you don’t owe anyone any part of you, your life, or an explanation or justification if you want to leave.

Of course you need to communicate with your partner, but you don’t owe them YOU if you know in your heart it’s time to move on—even if you can’t fully explain why.

For many —especially women— it’s hard to act simply because we want to. We’ve been conditioned to prioritise others, and put their needs before our own. And while there is beauty in being caring and generous, an evolved life means living your own truth.

Leaving doesn’t make you a bad person.

You can leave kindly, unravel your relationship with compassion, without burning everything down.

It’s not about walking away at the first sign of trouble; it’s about honouring that deep desire for something different, something more..

And if that desire outweighs everything else, that’s reason enough to go—even if it’s hard, even if it hurts someone you love.

If you’re wondering whether to stay or leave, my online course, Unravel, is designed to help you explore this.

If you’re ready to leave and want to do it consciously, kindly, and strategically, a Clarity Consult or 1:1 mentoring with me is perfect for you.

You can also access free resources to support you, wherever you’re at.

Divorcing a “decent person,” can be done kindly, with compassion and care. Even with love. Divorce does not need to mean lighting a match and walking away from the flames.