A while ago, I bought a pair of magnificently beautiful handmade earrings online, on a whim. When they arrived a little voice in my head questioned "perhaps they’re too much???" "maybe they’re a bit over the top??"

And following almost instantly, another voice. NO!

They're actually perfect. Exactly what I need.

They're NOT too much.

I'm NOT too much.

And neither, lovely one, are you.

Owning and acknowledging your desires—asking for what you want, need, crave, dream— does NOT make you “demanding.”

It does not mean you are “asking too much.”

It does not mean you are too much.

Personally, I know I’m:

“Demanding”
Someone who “expects a lot”
“High maintenance”
“Emotional”
“Passionate”

I’ve been described as all of this and more…

And I am MORE than OK with being ALL of that.

I’m OK with asking for what I want.

I’m OK with having high standards and expectations… of expecting to be seen, heard and met.

I’m OK with putting out there what I crave, expect, need, desire.

I’m OK with communicating those needs and getting better at doing it with kindness, grace & compassion (work in progress 🙋🏻‍♀️).

I've never been comfortable silencing myself but I wasn't always confident my voice would be heard or great at calmly communicating my needs (progress over perfection 🙋🏻‍♀️)

In certain spaces and with particular people, I used to hold back:

- I didn’t want to be **too loud** or **too opinionated.**

- I didn’t want to be seen as **demanding** or take up **too much space.**

Because, let’s face it, that’s what we’ve been taught, especially as girls, women, female identifying.

- We shouldn’t be “too” anything.

- We should be “good girls.”

And the flip side of this message, this conditioning is clear, that if we were honest & spoke our truth, expressed our deepest desires, we take the risk of being labelled NOT “nice”, “good” or “acceptable” or let’s be really honest here “desirable”

Too much.

Maybe…

You find yourself holding back.
Keeping parts of you small.
Hiding or minimising the shadow or darker parts of you that you’d rather not bring to the surface
Silencing parts of who you are.

Perhaps to avoid being labeled as demanding, high maintenance, or too much?

Many of us have been told—by society, family of origin, perhaps by past or current partners, or even by yourself—that wanting more, needing more, or simply being your full, authentic self, bringing and being all of you is too much.

That if we truly honoured & brought ALL of ourselves to the light, and to our relationships we’d be labelled “demanding” or “have high expectations” or “high maintenance” or “hard work”

These messages—whether spoken outright or subtly implied—are designed to make us doubt ourselves, to question the validity of our needs, and to keep us small. They aim to shrink us, convincing us to quiet our needs, silence ourselves and dial ourselves down

And this settling. This silencing. This minimising.

Leaving parts of ourselves behind or squashing them down. Fitting ourselves into the box of not too much…

The Holding back. Sacrificing. Sabotaging. Staying quiet. Even to ourselves… Not even daring to allow ourselves to acknowledge we have wants, needs, desires that aren’t being seen or met. To WANT more.

Minimising our desires, needs, expectations, wants, goals, hopes, dreams.

COSTS US.

Many of us have been conditioned to stay small, quiet, agreeable. To avoid being labeled as "hard work," we've learned to suppress our voice, ignore our needs, and minimise our dreams. AND THIS COSTS US.

It’s exhausting to keep shrinking yourself for the comfort of others.

AND… It’s an absolute fast track (or a really long, slow burn) to FRUSTRATION. ANGER. BITTERNESS. RESENTMENT.

AGAIN… here’s the truth

Here’s the truth:

I am not too much. You are not too much.

Asking for what you want, need, crave, and dream of does not make you difficult. It doesn’t mean your expectations are too high or that your emotions are too big.

Honoring your desires and owning your space is an act of power—and that kind of power can be deeply unsettling or intimidating for others. It’s disruptive and feels uncomfortable, sometimes even to ourselves if it’s a new experience.

Confident women who speak about their desires, take up space, and unapologetically claim what they want disrupt the status quo. And that can feel intimidating, even threatening, to others who are perhaps dealing with their own insecurities or unaccustomed to women stepping into their full strength. Your family. Your partner. Your … whoever.

Others may try to diminish it, dismiss it, or squash it down — projecting their discomfort as criticism, judgment, or attempts to control. Which is what those labels are about right?

TOO MUCH?

Perhaps I am. And if I am too much for you, I am not for you.

When it comes to relationships, taking up this space, claiming our voice, declaring our desires can SHAKE our relationship to it’s core, sometimes yes, even break it. Sometimes, the relationship can’t organise around this new version of you… and that can be terrifying to consider… BUT… not living as fully you COSTS YOU.⠀

IS THIS YOU?

Do you feel like you're constantly settling for less than you deserve?
Are you afraid to express your true feelings, opinions, thoughts, dreams or desires because you worry it’ll make you seem unreasonable or unlovable?
Not even sure you KNOW what you want… just that THIS isn’t it?

Perhaps you feel stuck, or like you’re losing pieces & parts of yourself… whether to keep the peace?

To avoid conflict or confrontation.
Out of fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected.
Because you’ve been conditioned to prioritize others' needs over your own.
Due to uncertainty about what you truly want or need.
Because you’ve internalized the belief that compromise means sacrificing yourself.
Out of guilt for wanting or needing more.
Because you fear upsetting or disappointing others.
Because it feels safer to stay quiet or small.
Out of habit—silencing yourself has become second nature.
Because you're afraid of being labeled as "too much" or "difficult."

OR you’ve been told over and over that you are asking for too much, your emotions are too much, your deep thinking is too much… that YOU are too much?

If this hits home, let me remind you of something powerful: owning all of who you are—your desires, your passions, your voice—and letting ALL OF THAT be VISIBLE is not only your birthright but also the key to creating the life and relationship you deeply crave.

The connected, fulfilling, and soul-aligned relationship you dream of is possible. Where you don’t have to surrender any part of yourself to have it.

And stepping into your power doesn’t HAVE to be the masculine, destructive, fierce power… it can be stepping your fierce feminine (and that’s a whole other podcast right there), reclaim your voice, and trust - deeply believe - that you are worthy of being seen, heard, and fully loved.

Stepping into your power doesn’t have to mean embracing masculine, destructive, loud or forceful energy. That masculine form or definition of power rooted in control and force.

It can mean stepping into your fierce feminine—

Reclaiming your voice.
Trusting yourself. & your inner knowing, your intuition
Deeply believing that you are worthy of being seen, heard, and fully loved.

(And that’s a whole other podcast right there!)

Fierce feminine energy is both soft and strong, embodying a quiet yet unshakable power.

It’s the ability to lead with compassion and grace, to nurture - ourselves first - while holding firm boundaries, to

Fierce feminine energy is intuitive, magnetic, and unapologetic, creating space for truth, connection, and transformation. It’s a reclamation of your voice, your worth, and your right to take up space—on your own terms.

If you’re ready to lean all the way in, to stop shrinking and start reclaiming your space, my 1:1 coaching program is for you. Together we create a pathway toward a life and relationship that sees, holds, and celebrates all of you.

It takes owning ALL of who you are, CLAIMING your right to show all of yourself, to bring your full self to the party, and show up as the WHOLE LOTTA WOMAN you are, to create or call in the relationship you deeply desire and are inherently worthy of.