Flying Solo for Christmas 2020
Yep. Solo Christmas can be challenging. No doubt. It can be sad and lonely. It can be tough. But… it can also be something entirely different.
Christmas as a single parent gives you a unique opportunity… to redefine how you want you Christmas to be. Here are some tips to fly solo this Christmas.
1. DO IT YOUR WAY. You get to choose how you and your kids celebrate Christmas and that could mean not at all. Accept an invitation you may not have previously, or say no thank you, when you would have felt compelled to say yes. Escape, hide and ignore the entire holiday season if that’s what you want and need to do or go all out with a tree, decorations, cards, food and carols. There are no rules. Do it your way.
2. PLAN AHEAD. If you’re not with your kids for part or all of the holiday season, make a plan well in advance for how you will spend your time. Make a list of your options – go on a trip, holiday or retreat. Spend it with friends or family. Seek solace in nature – a hike in the bush or a long ramble along the beach. Volunteer. Make your list. Choose your plan. And have a plan B and even C. You may wake up on the day and feel totally unlike doing what was your Plan A. Have a B and a C just in case.
3. BUILD NEW TRADITIONS. So…you hated the traditions of your ex-partner’s family? Great news, baby!! You get to toss them out for this, and every other Christmas going forward. Choose new traditions mindfully. Allow others to ease their way into your new family life. Show your kids there are new and different ways of celebrating. Have ice-cream for dinner. Watch a Christmas Movie Marathon, chosen by you and your kids.
4. PRESENCE AND PRESENTS. Divorce brings sadness and loss, but also new freedoms.
Choose WHO you will spend time with as well as who you will (and will not!) give presents. Remember, new traditions. New rules. YOU get to choose.
5. GO GENTLY. Go gently with yourself. Go gently with the booze. While it can be tempting to drown your sorrows and loneliness with a few too many wines, it’s not always the best idea or the best way to support yourself through a solo Christmas. Go gently. Know too, that it gets easier. Honour where you are this Christmas. If it’s your first after separating, it can feel overwhelming, raising to the surface all the grief and loss and sadness of separation and divorce. Remember… it gets easier. Christmas, holidays and special days hold so much of our past. Along with memories past, there is also a new future, waiting for you to build and shape. Step forward gently and joyfully.
A solo Christmas can be all of the sad stuff and… it can also be LIBERATING.
However you choose to spend it, know that you’ve got this. You can do it.
Merry Christmas. And may 2020 bring you all the good things of life.
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